Con Air 2: The Epilogue

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A Farewell Message

Greetings for one last time, dear fans of CON AIR 2: THE EPILOGUE. I’m not here to report on the movie, its theft, or interview its stars. This time, I’m here to say goodbye.

Today was supposed to be the day of the premiere, but the film reel is still missing. In just a few hours, Nick will confront the thief, Lord English himself. Everyone else has either fled the demon or stayed to see the fight. I too will have to make the decision to stay or leave soon.

Either way, this is the end of my interviews and reports. Without the movie and its cast I have nothing to do here. Even covering the outcome of the battle is pointless. You’ll learn about it one way or another anyway.

I have faith in our heroes, Nick Cage and I guess Hella Jeff now too. I will leave the rest to them.

Thank you for reading, and goodbye.

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Author Commentary

So, here we are. On the last page before Ollywood. Some people saw this as a really sad moment, which surprised me. I mean, I guess it’s sort of plaintive, but in a story with so many existentially disturbing moments and deaths, I wonder why this was the especially sad one. Maybe because there was no level of absurdity to hide it for what it was. Well, I guess it fits. This unnamed interviewer character deserved a good sendoff. They went through a lot of crap to get here.

At this point the illusion of officiality had almost vanished, but people still followed to see the finale. One of the major things that confirmed the noncanonity of the Tumblr blog were the Homestuck team member statements. That was wild. People went to straight up ask them if the blog was official. At one point somebody asked Vfromhomestuck, and their response was: “Is it the guy who's running this thing that keeps sending me questions about it. I went and opened the page for four seconds, are you happy”.

So I can honestly say that I was once impersonated by a fan and then misgendered by a Homestuck writer in one swift strike. Watch as I cancel these motherfuckers live on Twitter in a controversial callout post right before pissing on the canon. #HomestuckIsOverParty

Nah, I’m joking. When Aysha was asked if the blog was official, she replied with “i wish”. So, alright, you’re still okay, Homestuck. But you’re on thin fucking ice.

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